Mother’s account of ADHD children eating donuts at VivoCity bakery draws calls for compassion and accountability

A Singapore mother’s account of an encounter at a VivoCity bakery has triggered a broad online debate about attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), parental responsibility, compassion and the treatment of children with special needs in public spaces.

The woman said her two young children, both of whom she identified as having ADHD, picked up donuts from a bakery display and took bites before she could intervene.

She said she immediately apologised to staff and assured them that she would pay for both donuts.

The incident was recounted in an anonymous post published in the Facebook group Complaint Singapore on 24 July 2026.

The woman said she had visited Yamazaki Bakery at VivoCity with her two children and a domestic helper.

According to her account, the children each picked up a donut from the display and bit into it.

She said she remained in the bakery to purchase additional food, while her domestic helper stayed outside with the children.

She later described an exchange with an elderly female staff member standing behind the packing counter.

The woman alleged that the staff member spoke loudly in Mandarin, saying: “We cannot blame the children. We can only blame the parents for their poor upbringing.”

The mother said the remark caused her significant emotional distress and made her feel publicly judged over her parenting.

She subsequently approached the staff member and explained that both children had ADHD, saying their behaviour was related to their condition rather than what she described as poor parenting.

The mother said she also told the staff member that the remark had been deeply hurtful.

Mother describes challenges of raising children with ADHD

In her account, the woman said raising two children with ADHD involved daily challenges, including worries, emotional strain and the need for constant vigilance.

She said children with ADHD could act impulsively before fully processing the consequences of their actions.

The mother argued that such behaviour should not automatically be interpreted as evidence that children were ill-mannered, spoiled or intentionally disobedient.

“It is part of a neurodevelopmental condition that they never chose to have, and certainly not something I wished upon them,” she wrote.

She also described the broader difficulties faced by families raising children with ADHD, including therapy appointments, emotional meltdowns and the ongoing effort to help children navigate situations that others may not understand.

The mother said parents could already spend considerable time questioning whether they were doing enough for their children.

She said public criticism from someone who did not know her family circumstances had added to that emotional burden.

The woman called for greater understanding and compassion towards families dealing with ADHD and other special needs.

“I don’t expect everyone to understand ADHD, but I do hope people can choose kindness over judgement,” she wrote.

She added that people might not know the difficulties a parent or child was facing privately, arguing that compassion could make a meaningful difference to families.

Netizens call for compassion and accountability

The account prompted varied reactions online, with netizens discussing both the mother's concerns and the conduct of her two children.

Some commenters expressed sympathy for the mother, saying greater public awareness of ADHD and other special needs could help create a more inclusive society.

Supporters also argued that the elderly staff member's alleged remarks were insensitive because she was unaware of the family's circumstances.

Several commenters shared personal experiences of raising children with ADHD or autism, describing the challenges of managing impulsive behaviour while facing judgement from strangers.

Some said the mother had already apologised and offered to pay for the donuts, suggesting the incident could have ended there.

ADHD does not remove parental responsibility, commenters say

Others, however, stressed that ADHD should not be seen as an excuse for inappropriate behaviour.

Some commenters argued that taking food from a display and eating it before payment was unacceptable regardless of the reason, while parents of children with ADHD should anticipate possible impulsive behaviour and take steps to manage it.

One commenter wrote that “ADHD explains behaviour. It does not excuse it”, arguing that children should still be taught boundaries and appropriate conduct.

Others suggested the children could have been supervised more closely or remained outside the bakery with the domestic helper, while some raised concerns about hygiene and the bakery's operations.

The reactions reflected differing views on how society should balance understanding neurodevelopmental conditions with expectations of accountability and public behaviour.

Questions over sharing staff member's image

Another point of contention was the decision to post a photo of the elderly staff member online.

Some commenters questioned whether this was necessary after the mother had already spoken to her directly, while others warned that exposing her identity could lead to online harassment or even affect her employment.

A check of the original post shows that the mother has since removed the staff member's photo.

Some said compassion should extend to service workers who may be working long hours and may not know a customer's personal circumstances.

Others defended the mother's decision to share her experience, saying parents should be able to speak about instances in which they feel unfairly judged.